Book of Randomness

I started watching Gossip Girl when it started (it’s a guilty pleasure what can I say). I knew that it was outrageous in the beginning. Obviously little to no people actually go through high school like that. I mean come on, who went bar hopping on a regular basis when you were in high school? Drinking maybe. Bar hopping? Not so much.

The episodes this year have just seemed so insanely outrageous. Drinking, threesomes, drugs, “Queens” and the works. Some of the scenes just seem so ridiculous that it is hard to watch, let alone take the show seriously anymore (not that it was ever serious). So where do we draw the line between entertaining and absurd?

I’m currently watching the show. Serena and Nate are currently getting wasted at a bar talking about do you remember the last time we went out drinking? It is as if they are 25 or so and haven’t seen each other in years. They are BARELY college freshman. And now little Jenny is at a bar? She is still in high school.

I’m not even going to go into shows like 90210 and Melrose Place. I’ve never seen an episode, and I never plan on doing so.

I’m all about the girly shows and movies, I mean I love a chick flick, aka romantic comedy any day, but there is a limit. I still need some regular comedy, action, adventure, mystery and you name it in my life.

I’ll probably continue to watch Gossip Girl, mostly out of curiosity of what kind of craziness they will come up with next, but I will watch my other (probably more so) favorite shows. My current shows are Gossip Girl, America’s Next Top Model (although it is getting a little old), NCIS, Bones, Project Runway and White Collar. I also love watching The Food Network and DIY type of shows… in case you were wondering.

Enough of my ramblings… Lady Gaga is about to come on Gossip Girl! LOVE HER!!

My FAVORITE book EVER! Ok maybe it is my favorite possession….? I guess that could be stretching it, but this book is definitely WAY up there.

So what is it you may ask?

Freakin’ Fabulous by Clinton Kelly. I feel hesitant to share this with everyone because, well if I share, then you may become more fabulous than I am… oh well. The more fabulous people the better!

Everyone has seen the TLC show What Not to Wear on at least one occasion (and if you haven’t, you must be living under a rock). Clinton is half of the hosting duo, Clinton and Stacy. Clinton is also touring the country’s Macy’s stores for Make Over America (sadly I was not chosen ) He is undoubtedly funny on the show, and it translates perfectly into his book. He had me laughing cover to cover.

Freakin’ Fabulous is like my new life bible. I have only had the chance to read it all the way through once, but I frequently refer back to it. I actually began to annoy my friends and family by saying… “Clinton says….” or “According to Clinton…” I even had my DAD quoting the book!! Weird.

By the first few pages of the book you will wish Clinton was your best friend!

Freakin’ Fabulous is the book that you need if you want to know “How to Dress, Speak, Behave, Eat, Drink, Entertain, Decorate, and Generally Be Better than Everyone Else” according to its sub-title!

Highlights of the book… according to moi!

• Dress: Includes everything you need to know from accessories, to tailoring, dressing for certain occasions and a page of very ugly shoes (clearly the DON’T page)
• Speak: Definitely the section I need to read again… and AGAIN. The proper use for words. My greatest accomplishment so far has been taking the “s” off of the end of anyway! The pretty pictures and doodles help my learning… what can I say, I’m a visual person!
• Behave: Don’t butter the entire roll!! Holding wine glasses, eating oysters, texting with company and even a section on “bodily functions.” This section is definitely a must read. Did you know you should never bring your own food item to a party unless requested? I did not know that one, but you can ruin the theme/atmosphere.
• Eat: Four recipes you should MEMORIZE, cutting onions and other great recipes.
• Drink: I was laughing from the first page of this section as Clinton says, “Gin has made me do a lot of stupid things, but I forgive it.” Obviously there are drink recipes in the section, but my part is the section on wine; descriptions, how to serve, how to order and which wine pairs best with your food.
• Entertain: Plan for 1 bottle of wine per person!! Now that sounds like a party! Covers food to serve, music, booting people at the end of the night and making the potty smell nice! The “Mac and Cheese with Bacon” looks and sounds delicious… although it reminds me of the overeating experience I had at Yardhouse.
• Decorate: I cannot wait until I have my own house to be able to do all of this!! Room by room tricks, organization (“Kill the Clutter”), and fresh flowers. Never include baby’s breath or ferns IN an arrangement! Clinton suggests using Flowerbud.com for flowers.

  The book is full of color and information. Clinton has done an amazing job with this book balancing entertainment and information. I suggest it to EVERYONE. Give it to your girlfriends for their birthday or as a bachelorette party gift.

  You don’t NEED a reason, just get the book for crying out loud!! You will thank me later!

My FAVORITE book EVER! Ok maybe it is my favorite possession….? I guess that could be stretching it, but this book is definitely WAY up there.

So what is it you may ask?

Freakin’ Fabulous by Clinton Kelly. I feel hesitant to share this with everyone because, well if I share, then you may become more fabulous than I am… oh well. The more fabulous people the better!

Everyone has seen the TLC show What Not to Wear on at least one occasion (and if you haven’t, you must be living under a rock). Clinton is half of the hosting duo, Clinton and Stacy. Clinton is also touring the country’s Macy’s stores for Make Over America (sadly I was not chosen ) He is undoubtedly funny on the show, and it translates perfectly into his book. He had me laughing cover to cover.

Freakin’ Fabulous is like my new life bible. I have only had the chance to read it all the way through once, but I frequently refer back to it. I actually began to annoy my friends and family by saying… “Clinton says….” or “According to Clinton…” I even had my DAD quoting the book!! Weird.

By the first few pages of the book you will wish Clinton was your best friend!

Freakin’ Fabulous is the book that you need if you want to know “How to Dress, Speak, Behave, Eat, Drink, Entertain, Decorate, and Generally Be Better than Everyone Else” according to its sub-title!

Highlights of the book… according to moi!

• Dress: Includes everything you need to know from accessories, to tailoring, dressing for certain occasions and a page of very ugly shoes (clearly the DON’T page)
• Speak: Definitely the section I need to read again… and AGAIN. The proper use for words. My greatest accomplishment so far has been taking the “s” off of the end of anyway! The pretty pictures and doodles help my learning… what can I say, I’m a visual person!
• Behave: Don’t butter the entire roll!! Holding wine glasses, eating oysters, texting with company and even a section on “bodily functions.” This section is definitely a must read. Did you know you should never bring your own food item to a party unless requested? I did not know that one, but you can ruin the theme/atmosphere.
• Eat: Four recipes you should MEMORIZE, cutting onions and other great recipes.
• Drink: I was laughing from the first page of this section as Clinton says, “Gin has made me do a lot of stupid things, but I forgive it.” Obviously there are drink recipes in the section, but my part is the section on wine; descriptions, how to serve, how to order and which wine pairs best with your food.
• Entertain: Plan for 1 bottle of wine per person!! Now that sounds like a party! Covers food to serve, music, booting people at the end of the night and making the potty smell nice! The “Mac and Cheese with Bacon” looks and sounds delicious… although it reminds me of the overeating experience I had at Yardhouse.
• Decorate: I cannot wait until I have my own house to be able to do all of this!! Room by room tricks, organization (“Kill the Clutter”), and fresh flowers. Never include baby’s breath or ferns IN an arrangement! Clinton suggests using Flowerbud.com for flowers.

  The book is full of color and information. Clinton has done an amazing job with this book balancing entertainment and information. I suggest it to EVERYONE. Give it to your girlfriends for their birthday or as a bachelorette party gift.

  You don’t NEED a reason, just get the book for crying out loud!! You will thank me later!

I’m not exactly sure what I expected when my friends took me to see the movie “9″. All I knew is several people were interested in seeing in. It was also a successful short movie (short as in 11 minutes and never should have been more) I never even took the time to watch the trailer…

And now I find myself asking…. why?!?! Why did I NOT watch the trailer?

It happened. It’s over. I wasted $10.50 on a weird pointless movie.

I will now try to walk the fine line between telling you why not to see it, and trying not to “ruin” it IF you decide to see it.

Review

Keep in mind this is a “consumer review” and not a “critic review” so this will not be a technical movie guru p.o.v. I am no expert, just someone who (usually) enjoys going to movies.

The question here is: Is “9″ worth seeing?
The answer: I don’t think so.

“9″ is a movie about a puppet named 9 who comes to life in a post apocolyptic world. All of the humans have been killed and the surroundings have been destroyed. 9 quickly discovers the only other “living” things are other puppets created by the scientist (all named 1-8) and the “machines,” who ironically were also created by the scientist.

The movie becomes a fight between the puppets and the machines. The main machine is somehow smart enough to create other machines… who knows what is up with that?

Long story short, here is how I felt during the movie.

The first 15-20 mins seemed to have no point. I found myself wondering if they were ever going to develop a story line. When it FINALLY came, I was pretty dissapointed. About 45 minutes into the movie I started thinking… this can’t be it, there HAS to be more. But there really wasn’t. There were a few shining moments where there were some exciting fights between the machines and puppets. A few sad moments when some of the puppets became “trapped” inside the main machine. The end was just as boring as the beginning. At that point I was still thinking there should have been more, but still, nothing!!

There was very little talking in the movie, and on the rare occasion when there was, it was little more than a “no 9 don’t do it.” Talking becomes VERY important in a movie when you are already bored with it…

The description of the movie says, “They must take the offensive if they are to survive, and they must discover why the machines want to destroy them in the first place. As they’ll soon come to learn, the very future of civilization may depend on them.”

I’m not sure there is ever a “reason” why the machines want to destroy them… More importantly, the future of civilization??

***SPOILER***

There are only 4 puppets left at the end of the movie, and as far as I know, puppets do not have reproductive organs… let alone ones that can produce humans. So how exactly is the world supposed to have a future…?? Yeah, I didn’t think that worked either.

The animation is good, and there are times when you can feel for the puppets. Overall, for a Tim Burton (one of four producers) movie, it was undeveloped and dissapointing.

When I asked my friends what they thought of the movie vs. what they expected, they thought it was grossly misrepresented in the trailer.

Final Thought
It seemed as if the creators were more interested in creating a movie that would be able to open on 9.9.09.

I’m not exactly sure what I expected when my friends took me to see the movie “9″. All I knew is several people were interested in seeing in. It was also a successful short movie (short as in 11 minutes and never should have been more) I never even took the time to watch the trailer…

And now I find myself asking…. why?!?! Why did I NOT watch the trailer?

It happened. It’s over. I wasted $10.50 on a weird pointless movie.

I will now try to walk the fine line between telling you why not to see it, and trying not to “ruin” it IF you decide to see it.

Review

Keep in mind this is a “consumer review” and not a “critic review” so this will not be a technical movie guru p.o.v. I am no expert, just someone who (usually) enjoys going to movies.

The question here is: Is “9″ worth seeing?
The answer: I don’t think so.

“9″ is a movie about a puppet named 9 who comes to life in a post apocolyptic world. All of the humans have been killed and the surroundings have been destroyed. 9 quickly discovers the only other “living” things are other puppets created by the scientist (all named 1-8) and the “machines,” who ironically were also created by the scientist.

The movie becomes a fight between the puppets and the machines. The main machine is somehow smart enough to create other machines… who knows what is up with that?

Long story short, here is how I felt during the movie.

The first 15-20 mins seemed to have no point. I found myself wondering if they were ever going to develop a story line. When it FINALLY came, I was pretty dissapointed. About 45 minutes into the movie I started thinking… this can’t be it, there HAS to be more. But there really wasn’t. There were a few shining moments where there were some exciting fights between the machines and puppets. A few sad moments when some of the puppets became “trapped” inside the main machine. The end was just as boring as the beginning. At that point I was still thinking there should have been more, but still, nothing!!

There was very little talking in the movie, and on the rare occasion when there was, it was little more than a “no 9 don’t do it.” Talking becomes VERY important in a movie when you are already bored with it…

The description of the movie says, “They must take the offensive if they are to survive, and they must discover why the machines want to destroy them in the first place. As they’ll soon come to learn, the very future of civilization may depend on them.”

I’m not sure there is ever a “reason” why the machines want to destroy them… More importantly, the future of civilization??

***SPOILER***

There are only 4 puppets left at the end of the movie, and as far as I know, puppets do not have reproductive organs… let alone ones that can produce humans. So how exactly is the world supposed to have a future…?? Yeah, I didn’t think that worked either.

The animation is good, and there are times when you can feel for the puppets. Overall, for a Tim Burton (one of four producers) movie, it was undeveloped and dissapointing.

When I asked my friends what they thought of the movie vs. what they expected, they thought it was grossly misrepresented in the trailer.

Final Thought
It seemed as if the creators were more interested in creating a movie that would be able to open on 9.9.09.

Second Fave Find Friday!! YAY!

Have you ever struggled with diets? Tried everyone in the book and yet somehow you are still yo-yoing? Well, here is your life saver!!!

I have mentioned it in the past, but Hungry Girl has been my lifesaver for about a year now. When my family started on our fitness kick last year, our trainer told us we weren’t allowed to eat: dairy, grains, sugary fruits, etc. Now those things right there, are my life!! Needless to say, I was a little bummed. We tried it for a couple months, but no one can eat like that forever. ( I literally craved McDonald’s for a month after, weird right?)

Sooo…. HUNGRY GIRL!!! The greatest way to continue eating the foods you love without adding the inches to your waist. Better yet, LOSE some of those inches!!

Lisa Lillen, the creator, is NOT a nutritionist, she is a self proclaimed foodologist who has spent the time and research trying to find good tasting and healthy food items. Lisa develops these recipes based on her idea that “food is [her] passion and it has been [her] lifelong obsession.”

Hungry Girl now has two books out, Hungry Girl, and Hungry Girl 200 under 200. Both are great. They are full of more ideas than you can possibly imagine. Comfort foods, cocktails, desserts, breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks and you name it. There is even a section on typical party foods.

The basic concept behind all of the recipes is that you take a regular dish and just exchange a few ingredients for smarter choices… all while maintaining the delicious flavor!!

If you don’t want to jump right into buying the books, you also have the option to sign up for the daily newsletter which gives you some recipes and healthy grocery store finds. The pink links will take you to where you can buy the books!

Hungry Girl: Recipes and Survival Strategies for Guilt-Free Eating in the Real World

The website is also a fountain of information and well designed!

There are sections called top ATE. For example, the top ATE: holiday favorites, long lasting snacks, and summer beverages.

The most useful top ATE is the one on calorie saving swaps. Hungry Girl uses simple substitutes like using the liquid egg substitute rather than a traditional egg. My own swaps that I ALWAYS stick to: turkey instead of ground beef, whole grain pasta (and all breads) instead of white, and olive oil spray instead of olive oil.

It is because of this mentality that you can cut out tons of calories without having to try to hard, or even worse, STARVE!!!

Hungry Girl: 200 Under 200: 200 Recipes Under 200 Calories

My only complaint with the Hungry Girl books is that they suggest using a product called Shirataki Tofu Noodles… I tried them once, and found I’m not such a fan. They are quite slimey and have an odd consistency… but go ahead and try them. If not, just substitute with whole wheat pasta.

Good luck!! Sign up for the newsletter at Hungry Girl, and buy the books!! Trust me, it will be worth it!

I forgot to mention they also have a fun little game called Whack-a-Snack!

This past week, I somehow received all of my magazine subscriptions in a matter of two days… Between that “wake up call” and my lovely budget crunching mode that I’m in, it made me wonder, when did I get all of these magazines?

I like many girls my age went through the various magazine stages. From Highlights as a little kid, to Seventeen when I hit 13, to my current obsessions.

I now receive: Women’s Health, Shape, Glamour, and People Style Watch.

While this may not seem like “a lot,” when you routinely run out of time to look at all of them, and you eventually throw them all out anyway, you realized what a waste. Plus, it is not very “green!”

My Women’s Health and People Style Watch are more expensive than your traditional $12 subscription price. But I suppose they balance out with the great $12 for two years I paid for Shape!! YAY!

But add it up, I’m suddenly spending OVER $50 for some paper!! Information I can easily access online!

I know you are thinking, $12, big deal, you are practically robbing the magazine! Turns out, you are actually making them more money simply by taking them up on their “great offer.” Magazines make their money with advertising. They are making mucho dinero on your “savings” because you add to their circulation numbers. Higher circulation=More expensive Ad buys. Personally, I think Ad buys are a little overrated when you think about the “impression” you get with the readers. I mean I skip the ads. I’m sure you skip the ads. That is why we find ourselves surrounded by “advertorials.” You guessed it, they are trying to trick you. Bummer!

By the way, this holiday season when you are checking out all of those nifty gift guides, make sure they are not paid for. Some publications are so strapped for cash that they are actually offering up their gift guides as paid advertisements. It will guide you alright, right to their customers’ products. Not so trustworthy is it?

SO what is my point? Well my point is that I do not need to spend $50 a year on magazines. I’m not sure which ones I will end up giving the boot, but you can be sure some of them will get it! I can go online and try to do my little part of the environment and my pocket!

By the way, did you know that the website, Perez Hilton makes $110,000 A MONTH!!??!! Man I wish I had all of the latest gossip to share!

Holy Hell it is hotttt tonight. It is Saturday night, and you guessed it, I’m home. Still a little sick, but I did make it to a little BBQ get together this afternoon. Now that I’m back home writing this, I’m getting a little sweaty! Ewww. I’m not sure if it is the hot humid weather or if I have a little lingering fever, either way, it blows.

On to happier more helpful things.

The other day I was looking at all of the bookmarks I have, trying to decide which ones I could get rid of… then I realized how much I use mine. So there ya go….

The 10 Bookmarks every modern girl needs:

• 1- Your Bank. Who doesn’t need immediate access to their bank account when they have, let’s say, spent too much??? I am quite familiar with this concept… you may also want to bookmark your credit cards…
• 2- Google. For the always important quick find.
• 3-Blog. To keep all of your people up-to-date. Besides, if you spend at least an hour or more a day on something, do you really want to go searching?
• 4- Twitter. I must say I never thought I would have Twitter bookmarked. Yet, here we are. If you have a blog/website/business, Twitter is the new, ever powerful way to keep in touch with your clients. (I have more on this coming up in a blog, thank you Twitter 101, and yes, there is a class)
• 5- Weather.com. Because every girl needs to know how to dress tomorrow!!
• 6- CrossFit or Gym. For me, it is great to be able to access the W.O.D. (Workout of the Day in CrossFit speak) so that I can get mentally prepared for the workout ahead of me as well as eat correctly so I have the most energy. If you go to a normal gym, you might also want to keep up with the class schedules.
• 7- Facebook. Whether for personal or professional use, Facebook is a clean, easy and straight-forward way to keep in touch with friends and customers.
• 8- IMDb. IMDb is my lifesaver when I have a face that I cannot put a name to or vice-versa. Great for a movie or TV watcher.
• 9- eBay. Whether you are a buyer or seller, having eBay around is very important! It is so much fun just to see what you can find sometimes!
• 10- E-mail. Which ever medium you decide to use, gmail or yahoo, you need it around! Duh!

  So why do you keep searching around for everything??

  There are many other things you might find important to have bookmarked. For example, I have other bookmarks for this blog, my salon (to make quick appointments), the Women’s Health monthly giveway, and a few other.

  The choice is yours, but please…. simplify your life!! Your sanity will thank you!

Ok so I am sick… and I didn’t want you to think I fell off the face of the earth and ditched Book of Randomness. I will return ASAP (hopefully tomorrow) when I can muster up enough energy to devote to a proper entry!!

Please forgive me for the delay!!

In the meantime, please enjoy some of my favorite YouTube videos!!!

• Extreme Sheep Herding
• Bizkit The Sleep Walking Dog
• The Count Song Censored
• Everything’s Amazing, and No One is Happy

I’m sorry for the back to back lists, but my friend just sent this to me and I wanted to share! Once again, for time saving measures, I have included my faves. Should you want the full list (which is definitely still good) I would by happy to send it to you. In Blue you will find some of my comments. I did want to add one of my own: Who has the time and will power to create these lists to e-mail to people!!??

ENJOY!

• The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase “Regards” again.
   

• Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you’re going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
   

• I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.Oh man was college a rude awakening for a girl who NEVER took a nap.
   

• Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn’t work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or faq’s. We just figured it out. Today’s kids are soft. And why do 6 year olds have cell phones and demand that I do things for them when I don’t even know them?!?
   

• There is a great need for sarcasm font. I totally feel this one… I usually feel misunderstood in print.
   

• Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what was going on when I first saw it.
   

• I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I’ll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone’s laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I’m still the only one who really, really gets it.I’m probably the worst about this one… definitely did it the other night!
   

• The other night I hit a new low at an open bar. I had already hopped on ” highway blackout ” when, inevitably , I had to find a bathroom. Eventually I decided it was probably on the other side of the bar so I tried to walk over there, but ran into a girl coming the other way. We played that, Both go left, Both go right game to no avail, so I finally put out my hand to guide myself past and that is when I realized, yup, that’s a mirror I just tried to walk through. And the girl on the other side is me. Even cats can recognize their own image.
   

• How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
   

• I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
   

• The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text. Bad, but true.
   

• A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
   

• Was learning cursive really necessary? I was JUST thinking about that. How many people use it anymore? And do they still teach it in schools?
   

• I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
   

• Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
   

• Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart”.
   

• How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?
   

• Everytime I have to spell a word over the phone using ‘as in’ examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss’s last name to an attorney and said “Yes that’s G as in…(10 second lapse)..ummm…Goonies” I deal with this on a daily basis with “M” and “N”
   

• What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?If I could afford it, I think I would try it. But then again, wouldn’t they find out that I hired both?
   

• While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.
   

• MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.SERIOUSLY!!

   

• Bad decisions make good stories. HAHA
   

• Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!
   

• Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?YES!!!
   

• Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be a problem….
   

• You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
   

• Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t want to have to restart my collection.
   

• There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
   

• The best thing about sex is that part where I have it.
   

• I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
   

• “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this ever. I just ignore this usually… or I guess handwashing isn’t TOO bad.
   

• I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There’s so much pressure. ‘I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t watching this. It’s only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?’
   

• I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
   

• I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
   

• I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my itunes.
   

• Why is a school zone 15 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles…
   

• Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. For me, my watches are more of an accessory… is that bad?
   

• It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
   

• I think that if, years down the road when I’m trying to have a kid, I find out that I’m sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college. Gee… you think this was a guy?
   

• Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn’t know what do to with it. This one creeps me out…
   

• Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time…
   

• It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text. OMG I know!
   

• I think the freezer deserves a light as well

I REALLY tried to cut this one down… but I guess I liked too many of them. I hope you don’t feel like I just wasted precious time in your life!!