Book of Randomness

My FAVORITE book EVER! Ok maybe it is my favorite possession….? I guess that could be stretching it, but this book is definitely WAY up there.

So what is it you may ask?

Freakin’ Fabulous by Clinton Kelly. I feel hesitant to share this with everyone because, well if I share, then you may become more fabulous than I am… oh well. The more fabulous people the better!

Everyone has seen the TLC show What Not to Wear on at least one occasion (and if you haven’t, you must be living under a rock). Clinton is half of the hosting duo, Clinton and Stacy. Clinton is also touring the country’s Macy’s stores for Make Over America (sadly I was not chosen ) He is undoubtedly funny on the show, and it translates perfectly into his book. He had me laughing cover to cover.

Freakin’ Fabulous is like my new life bible. I have only had the chance to read it all the way through once, but I frequently refer back to it. I actually began to annoy my friends and family by saying… “Clinton says….” or “According to Clinton…” I even had my DAD quoting the book!! Weird.

By the first few pages of the book you will wish Clinton was your best friend!

Freakin’ Fabulous is the book that you need if you want to know “How to Dress, Speak, Behave, Eat, Drink, Entertain, Decorate, and Generally Be Better than Everyone Else” according to its sub-title!

Highlights of the book… according to moi!

• Dress: Includes everything you need to know from accessories, to tailoring, dressing for certain occasions and a page of very ugly shoes (clearly the DON’T page)
• Speak: Definitely the section I need to read again… and AGAIN. The proper use for words. My greatest accomplishment so far has been taking the “s” off of the end of anyway! The pretty pictures and doodles help my learning… what can I say, I’m a visual person!
• Behave: Don’t butter the entire roll!! Holding wine glasses, eating oysters, texting with company and even a section on “bodily functions.” This section is definitely a must read. Did you know you should never bring your own food item to a party unless requested? I did not know that one, but you can ruin the theme/atmosphere.
• Eat: Four recipes you should MEMORIZE, cutting onions and other great recipes.
• Drink: I was laughing from the first page of this section as Clinton says, “Gin has made me do a lot of stupid things, but I forgive it.” Obviously there are drink recipes in the section, but my part is the section on wine; descriptions, how to serve, how to order and which wine pairs best with your food.
• Entertain: Plan for 1 bottle of wine per person!! Now that sounds like a party! Covers food to serve, music, booting people at the end of the night and making the potty smell nice! The “Mac and Cheese with Bacon” looks and sounds delicious… although it reminds me of the overeating experience I had at Yardhouse.
• Decorate: I cannot wait until I have my own house to be able to do all of this!! Room by room tricks, organization (“Kill the Clutter”), and fresh flowers. Never include baby’s breath or ferns IN an arrangement! Clinton suggests using Flowerbud.com for flowers.

  The book is full of color and information. Clinton has done an amazing job with this book balancing entertainment and information. I suggest it to EVERYONE. Give it to your girlfriends for their birthday or as a bachelorette party gift.

  You don’t NEED a reason, just get the book for crying out loud!! You will thank me later!

My FAVORITE book EVER! Ok maybe it is my favorite possession….? I guess that could be stretching it, but this book is definitely WAY up there.

So what is it you may ask?

Freakin’ Fabulous by Clinton Kelly. I feel hesitant to share this with everyone because, well if I share, then you may become more fabulous than I am… oh well. The more fabulous people the better!

Everyone has seen the TLC show What Not to Wear on at least one occasion (and if you haven’t, you must be living under a rock). Clinton is half of the hosting duo, Clinton and Stacy. Clinton is also touring the country’s Macy’s stores for Make Over America (sadly I was not chosen ) He is undoubtedly funny on the show, and it translates perfectly into his book. He had me laughing cover to cover.

Freakin’ Fabulous is like my new life bible. I have only had the chance to read it all the way through once, but I frequently refer back to it. I actually began to annoy my friends and family by saying… “Clinton says….” or “According to Clinton…” I even had my DAD quoting the book!! Weird.

By the first few pages of the book you will wish Clinton was your best friend!

Freakin’ Fabulous is the book that you need if you want to know “How to Dress, Speak, Behave, Eat, Drink, Entertain, Decorate, and Generally Be Better than Everyone Else” according to its sub-title!

Highlights of the book… according to moi!

• Dress: Includes everything you need to know from accessories, to tailoring, dressing for certain occasions and a page of very ugly shoes (clearly the DON’T page)
• Speak: Definitely the section I need to read again… and AGAIN. The proper use for words. My greatest accomplishment so far has been taking the “s” off of the end of anyway! The pretty pictures and doodles help my learning… what can I say, I’m a visual person!
• Behave: Don’t butter the entire roll!! Holding wine glasses, eating oysters, texting with company and even a section on “bodily functions.” This section is definitely a must read. Did you know you should never bring your own food item to a party unless requested? I did not know that one, but you can ruin the theme/atmosphere.
• Eat: Four recipes you should MEMORIZE, cutting onions and other great recipes.
• Drink: I was laughing from the first page of this section as Clinton says, “Gin has made me do a lot of stupid things, but I forgive it.” Obviously there are drink recipes in the section, but my part is the section on wine; descriptions, how to serve, how to order and which wine pairs best with your food.
• Entertain: Plan for 1 bottle of wine per person!! Now that sounds like a party! Covers food to serve, music, booting people at the end of the night and making the potty smell nice! The “Mac and Cheese with Bacon” looks and sounds delicious… although it reminds me of the overeating experience I had at Yardhouse.
• Decorate: I cannot wait until I have my own house to be able to do all of this!! Room by room tricks, organization (“Kill the Clutter”), and fresh flowers. Never include baby’s breath or ferns IN an arrangement! Clinton suggests using Flowerbud.com for flowers.

  The book is full of color and information. Clinton has done an amazing job with this book balancing entertainment and information. I suggest it to EVERYONE. Give it to your girlfriends for their birthday or as a bachelorette party gift.

  You don’t NEED a reason, just get the book for crying out loud!! You will thank me later!

This past week, I somehow received all of my magazine subscriptions in a matter of two days… Between that “wake up call” and my lovely budget crunching mode that I’m in, it made me wonder, when did I get all of these magazines?

I like many girls my age went through the various magazine stages. From Highlights as a little kid, to Seventeen when I hit 13, to my current obsessions.

I now receive: Women’s Health, Shape, Glamour, and People Style Watch.

While this may not seem like “a lot,” when you routinely run out of time to look at all of them, and you eventually throw them all out anyway, you realized what a waste. Plus, it is not very “green!”

My Women’s Health and People Style Watch are more expensive than your traditional $12 subscription price. But I suppose they balance out with the great $12 for two years I paid for Shape!! YAY!

But add it up, I’m suddenly spending OVER $50 for some paper!! Information I can easily access online!

I know you are thinking, $12, big deal, you are practically robbing the magazine! Turns out, you are actually making them more money simply by taking them up on their “great offer.” Magazines make their money with advertising. They are making mucho dinero on your “savings” because you add to their circulation numbers. Higher circulation=More expensive Ad buys. Personally, I think Ad buys are a little overrated when you think about the “impression” you get with the readers. I mean I skip the ads. I’m sure you skip the ads. That is why we find ourselves surrounded by “advertorials.” You guessed it, they are trying to trick you. Bummer!

By the way, this holiday season when you are checking out all of those nifty gift guides, make sure they are not paid for. Some publications are so strapped for cash that they are actually offering up their gift guides as paid advertisements. It will guide you alright, right to their customers’ products. Not so trustworthy is it?

SO what is my point? Well my point is that I do not need to spend $50 a year on magazines. I’m not sure which ones I will end up giving the boot, but you can be sure some of them will get it! I can go online and try to do my little part of the environment and my pocket!

By the way, did you know that the website, Perez Hilton makes $110,000 A MONTH!!??!! Man I wish I had all of the latest gossip to share!

Holy Hell it is hotttt tonight. It is Saturday night, and you guessed it, I’m home. Still a little sick, but I did make it to a little BBQ get together this afternoon. Now that I’m back home writing this, I’m getting a little sweaty! Ewww. I’m not sure if it is the hot humid weather or if I have a little lingering fever, either way, it blows.

On to happier more helpful things.

The other day I was looking at all of the bookmarks I have, trying to decide which ones I could get rid of… then I realized how much I use mine. So there ya go….

The 10 Bookmarks every modern girl needs:

• 1- Your Bank. Who doesn’t need immediate access to their bank account when they have, let’s say, spent too much??? I am quite familiar with this concept… you may also want to bookmark your credit cards…
• 2- Google. For the always important quick find.
• 3-Blog. To keep all of your people up-to-date. Besides, if you spend at least an hour or more a day on something, do you really want to go searching?
• 4- Twitter. I must say I never thought I would have Twitter bookmarked. Yet, here we are. If you have a blog/website/business, Twitter is the new, ever powerful way to keep in touch with your clients. (I have more on this coming up in a blog, thank you Twitter 101, and yes, there is a class)
• 5- Weather.com. Because every girl needs to know how to dress tomorrow!!
• 6- CrossFit or Gym. For me, it is great to be able to access the W.O.D. (Workout of the Day in CrossFit speak) so that I can get mentally prepared for the workout ahead of me as well as eat correctly so I have the most energy. If you go to a normal gym, you might also want to keep up with the class schedules.
• 7- Facebook. Whether for personal or professional use, Facebook is a clean, easy and straight-forward way to keep in touch with friends and customers.
• 8- IMDb. IMDb is my lifesaver when I have a face that I cannot put a name to or vice-versa. Great for a movie or TV watcher.
• 9- eBay. Whether you are a buyer or seller, having eBay around is very important! It is so much fun just to see what you can find sometimes!
• 10- E-mail. Which ever medium you decide to use, gmail or yahoo, you need it around! Duh!

  So why do you keep searching around for everything??

  There are many other things you might find important to have bookmarked. For example, I have other bookmarks for this blog, my salon (to make quick appointments), the Women’s Health monthly giveway, and a few other.

  The choice is yours, but please…. simplify your life!! Your sanity will thank you!

I’m sorry for the back to back lists, but my friend just sent this to me and I wanted to share! Once again, for time saving measures, I have included my faves. Should you want the full list (which is definitely still good) I would by happy to send it to you. In Blue you will find some of my comments. I did want to add one of my own: Who has the time and will power to create these lists to e-mail to people!!??

ENJOY!

• The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase “Regards” again.
   

• Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you’re going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
   

• I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.Oh man was college a rude awakening for a girl who NEVER took a nap.
   

• Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn’t work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or faq’s. We just figured it out. Today’s kids are soft. And why do 6 year olds have cell phones and demand that I do things for them when I don’t even know them?!?
   

• There is a great need for sarcasm font. I totally feel this one… I usually feel misunderstood in print.
   

• Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what was going on when I first saw it.
   

• I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I’ll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone’s laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I’m still the only one who really, really gets it.I’m probably the worst about this one… definitely did it the other night!
   

• The other night I hit a new low at an open bar. I had already hopped on ” highway blackout ” when, inevitably , I had to find a bathroom. Eventually I decided it was probably on the other side of the bar so I tried to walk over there, but ran into a girl coming the other way. We played that, Both go left, Both go right game to no avail, so I finally put out my hand to guide myself past and that is when I realized, yup, that’s a mirror I just tried to walk through. And the girl on the other side is me. Even cats can recognize their own image.
   

• How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
   

• I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
   

• The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text. Bad, but true.
   

• A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
   

• Was learning cursive really necessary? I was JUST thinking about that. How many people use it anymore? And do they still teach it in schools?
   

• I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
   

• Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
   

• Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart”.
   

• How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?
   

• Everytime I have to spell a word over the phone using ‘as in’ examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss’s last name to an attorney and said “Yes that’s G as in…(10 second lapse)..ummm…Goonies” I deal with this on a daily basis with “M” and “N”
   

• What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?If I could afford it, I think I would try it. But then again, wouldn’t they find out that I hired both?
   

• While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.
   

• MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.SERIOUSLY!!

   

• Bad decisions make good stories. HAHA
   

• Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!
   

• Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?YES!!!
   

• Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be a problem….
   

• You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
   

• Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t want to have to restart my collection.
   

• There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
   

• The best thing about sex is that part where I have it.
   

• I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
   

• “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this ever. I just ignore this usually… or I guess handwashing isn’t TOO bad.
   

• I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There’s so much pressure. ‘I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t watching this. It’s only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?’
   

• I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
   

• I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
   

• I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my itunes.
   

• Why is a school zone 15 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles…
   

• Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. For me, my watches are more of an accessory… is that bad?
   

• It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
   

• I think that if, years down the road when I’m trying to have a kid, I find out that I’m sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college. Gee… you think this was a guy?
   

• Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn’t know what do to with it. This one creeps me out…
   

• Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time…
   

• It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text. OMG I know!
   

• I think the freezer deserves a light as well

I REALLY tried to cut this one down… but I guess I liked too many of them. I hope you don’t feel like I just wasted precious time in your life!!

I mentioned it before on the About Page, but if you EVER have any questions about ANYTHING, please let me know. If you are a curious girl (or boy) like I am, you wonder why, how, who, when, where, etc. ALL the time. But do you really have the time figure everything out?

Well I have some time, and I am willing to give you some!! From my time working in public relations and marketing (having to track people and contacts down – yes I have probably talked to you or sent you something in the past ), I have gained this crazy ability to find almost anything on the internet, and at an alarmingly quick rate. Let me know who you want to know and we’ll figure it out! Plus I’ll be glad to share the findings with everyone on Book of Randomness.

Thanks!!!

PS, please let me know if you are enjoying/learning from the entries so far. More importantly, if you like it, tell everyone you know!!!

I mentioned it before on the About Page, but if you EVER have any questions about ANYTHING, please let me know. If you are a curious girl (or boy) like I am, you wonder why, how, who, when, where, etc. ALL the time. But do you really have the time figure everything out?

Well I have some time, and I am willing to give you some!! From my time working in public relations and marketing (having to track people and contacts down – yes I have probably talked to you or sent you something in the past ), I have gained this crazy ability to find almost anything on the internet, and at an alarmingly quick rate. Let me know who you want to know and we’ll figure it out! Plus I’ll be glad to share the findings with everyone on Book of Randomness.

Thanks!!!

PS, please let me know if you are enjoying/learning from the entries so far. More importantly, if you like it, tell everyone you know!!!

I try to be a minimalist when it comes to the non-essentials. Unfortunately, I did not get that gene from my parents because they have some issues parting with items. Don’t get me wrong, they are not that bad, there are no stacks of newspapers dating back to 1978 nor can you see any of this if you visit the house.

When I go through random crap, it is easy for me to get rid of things. In my opinion, you have to weigh the options… is it really something you need? are you going to use it in the next week, month, year? how much or how hard would it be to replace if you did need it down the line? As long as your answers are not: absolutely, definitely, and nearly impossible for $1 million, you probably DON’T need to keep it.

My case study: Magazines…

So, magazines…. we all (or most of us) get at least one or two, or ten. We of course get them because they are relatively cheap and easy entertainment, with each having some kind of value to us. Whether you get fashion, health, sports, home, gossip, etc. you are bound to find something you want to keep for future reference. My top ones are usually clothes, random products, and exercise routines.

So what do you do with these stacks of magazines? Do you keep them because there is one little paragraph you might need down the line? Well if you are my dad… yes you do, you never know when you will need that tip on how to whittle a tree log into a toothpick. Ok bad example.

My solution: and keep in mind that it can be applied to just about anything

I have taken a small plain notebook, and created my own little fashion book. When I am looking through my magazines, if I see a top or an outfit I like, I tear it out. Once I have some extra time, I cut out the images and tape them onto the pages of my “fashion book.” It is an easy solution to keeping ALL of my magazines. This way I have everything I liked out of it, just in much smaller and concise packaging. I was lucky enough to find a notebook with a cover that looks like a magazine, so I make sure to position the images inside as well. It is like having my own magazine of things I like!
 



 
So far, I only have my fashion one, but you could have your own little workout book, recipe book, home decorating book, and so many more! The sky’s the limit on this one folks. 

Just remember to enjoy your little arts and crafts project. Trust me, it will simplify your life when you are looking for a new outfit!

By the way, the magazines I love: Glamour, People Style Watch, Women’s Health